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by Bill Petz

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Recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease, I’ve been thinking about slowing down. My Parkinson’s Disease (PD) will lead to an involuntary slowness, except for those times when tremor and dyskinesia (dance-like movements) move me when I don’t want to. This old white guy could dance after all. Maybe old dogs can learn new tricks, or at least new tics.

Slowing down doesn’t need to be a bad thing. Semi-retirement has slowed my rat race, Parkinson’s Disease is another foot on the brakes. “Slow down and smell the coffee” sounds good, except that I learned PD could reduce my sense of smell. But the probable stoop could get me close enough to smell the grounds anyhow. Too bad I won’t be able to taste it much since that will decline as well.

I’ll have to write slower so my handwriting doesn’t get small and cramped. My signature will change so the banks will mistakenly return my checks. Good deal. Almost like a note from my doctor to OK late payment. My typing is already slower since my fingers need individualized instructions. As I type this there is a trail of infuriating spell check red squiggly lines behind me. At least I won’t be firing off any of those ill conceived and self-defeating, rapid response emails that should never enter the triple W abyss anyhow.

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DECEMBER, 2011 CREDITS

Guest Editor:  Liz McCollum

Editorial Assistant:    Stina Attebery

CONTRIBUTORS:

Writing:   christina elaine collins, maude larke, bill petz

Visual Art:  katie herbst, monty and the mongoose

Dance:   hip-ocricy

Music:  the FU'zz

Cover Art:   David Cook

Publication:  Status Hat Productions, 2011

All contributors and musicians retain full rights to their work.

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please feel free to contact us at:

editor@statushat.org.